It’s Not Just Your Transfer,
It’s The Whole Family’s

"You want to take a job where???"

By Laura Herring, The IMPACT Group

So begins many a family conversation in these times of corporate re-engineering, lateral transfers and the need to move on in order to move up.

And although the United States is the most mobile society in the world—according to the U.S. Census Bureau, nearly one of five Americans moves each year—being part of the crowd may not be comforting to family members confronted with leaving behind jobs, friends and an established lifestyle.

The reaction to this woman from the Northeast is not unusual: "When my husband was offered a promotion to relocate, we both were less than excited about this new journey. After days of trepidation, we mutually decided to accept the offer.

"I have always considered myself to be a very secure, independent person. But his move deflated my confidence. Although I knew in my heart everything would eventually be OK, I was still frightened about the unknown road I was about to travel."

Although this woman was seasoned senior manager, the idea of launching a job search in a new marketplace where she had no professional contacts was indeed intimidating.

Fortunately, her spouse’s company is a progressive firm offering significant benefits to assist transferees in making the transition—including relocation assistance, such as job search support for working spouses—and community research and referral assistance for all transferees and their families.

Assistance Offers

Faced with a corporate transfer, one of the most important steps is to ask what types of assistance are offered since approximately 50 percent of companies provide some type of spousal/family assistance, but only half offer it via formal policy.

The remainder, according to the Employee Relocation Council, offer it on an informal, as-needed or as-requested basis.

That number, however, may need to change.

Recent studies show that more than 65 percent of the workforce is part of a dual-income household, and of those who decide not to accept a move, family considerations was a reason for 63 percent.

Another trend emerging among The IMPACT Group’s corporate clients is acknowledging and providing support to ease the relocation transition of single transferees, single parents, transferees in non-traditional relationships and newly recruited employees.

For those who ultimately decide to make the move, planning is key, not only because it will help thing go more smoothly, but also because it helps the family regain that "in control" feeling.

By choosing to take action, transferees can apply constructive strategies to moving forward.

Getting Settled

Relocating is not easy, and the employee rarely feels comfortable instigating the move. Sometimes they end up putting in long hours at work to avoid contact with disgruntled family members. Even single employees may essentially take up residence at their new office rather than face trying to re-establish their personal lives in a new location.

What’s the right thing to do? Identify and discuss everyone’s needs (including those of the person whose job triggered the move). Listen carefully and hear what stresses and conflicting feeling each person is experiencing.

While it’s not likely those feelings will change, showing an understanding and figuring out how to meet the needs they represent can be important. Setting a realistic timeline for addressing each person’s needs can relieve much of the stress.

As Soon as a Move Is Agreed To, Take Time to Get Organized.

• Designate a special notebook to keep track of all the things to do before, during and after the move.
  
  
• Keep a log of all relocation-related expenses, as some may be reimbursable while others may be tax deductible.
  
  
• Create a checklist of those who will need to be notified—utilities, banks, associations, periodicals, schools, churches—and a schedule for notification, and stick to it.

To reduced resistance to the move, set aside a bit of time to have some fun, as difficult as that might sound in the midst of a move. One family took their children out of school a week early before relocating. During that week, the children got to go skiing each day. The snow was great, there were no lines and it turned out to be a wonderful way to say goodbye to their mountain community. The children’s approach to relocation became more positive and the experience has long been remembered.

Consultants with The IMPACT Group frequently advise the individuals and families to use the relocation as an opportunity to move beyond their previous concepts of themselves. A family they worked with was worried about finding just the right school in their new location for their son, who was a star athlete. The IMPACT Group provided research about various school systems in the area, but the consultant also encouraged them to select a school which not only had a good (although not necessarily the best) athletic department, but which also offered a wide variety of other activities. The family followed through on this suggestion.

Shortly after the move, their son was injured and had to give up some sports. But because the family had learned to think of him as more than a potential NBA star, they were able to help him transition successfully to other activities.

The most important point in preparing for a relocation is to do something. Feeling a sense of control over day-to-day activities can help deal with the bigger relocation picture over which no one has total control.

And be patient. It can take 12 to 24 months to accept fully a relocation and to begin to feel "at home" in the new place.